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21st CENTURY SEX ETIQUETTE by Dyana Williams

The 70's were a period of free love, where many folks mingled sexually without a lot of fear of repercussions regarding STDs. The biggest concerns people faced during those days was getting syphilis or gonorrhea and they had penicillin for those things. Fast forward... I recall being at a club with members of the Black Entertainment Sports & Lawyer Association (BESLA) conference in Mexico. We were in a club drinking, socializing when a new flash hit the television monitors. Ervin "Magic" Johnson held a press conference to announce that he had contracted the deadly HIV virus. Shock permeated the place, as we all talked about the ramifications of this news for him and us. The talk included speculation about his promiscuous behavior with women and then there were the whisperings, innuendo and rumors. This wasn't Rock Hudson; it was a well known and beloved Laker and popular Black man. Times had changed and fear was running rampant. It was a new day for Black folks, but was it really?

As a single woman having been touched by a girlfriend who had been infected with the HIV virus by her down low husband, and having had several friends die, mostly males, from this dreaded disease I was afraid. In fact, I am damn right suspicious of brothers and was celibate for several years after a long term relationship ended. I was ultra afraid to embark into a sexual/intimate affair for fear of contracting ANYTHING. I had one girlfriend get herpes after her four year relationship, another who spent five years with her man picked up the highly contagious HPV virus and now faces a lifetime threat of cervical cancer (not to mention the possibility of passing the virus to others). Of course, these STD's are not the no cure HIV/AIDS, but were passed along during unprotected sex (in what these women thought were relationships with men they could trust). Read More

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